You Are My Obsession: A Red Light Warning

I really wanted to start this month off with a “feel good” story, BUT my Mind led me in another direction.  So, for now, that entry will be postponed (sorry my little Booby Bear.)….

The song “A Woman’s Worth,” by Alicia Keyes, kept playing over and over in my head.  I found myself humming the tune at work, in my car, and at home.  I had to ask myself, “Self, what are you trying to tell me?”  For those who would find it hard to believe that I talk to myself, I’m sorry to disappoint you.  Yes, I talk to myself often.  It’s the answers I get that I have to question from time to time….I’m straying from my thoughts, so let me get back on track…..My inner voice was telling me to talk about self-worth.  However, I had to disagree with that voice because I have talked about that in a previous blog.  We finally came to an agreement that led me to what this entry is about…..OBSESSION……

Before I go any further, let’s break down the word obsession:

1.       Obsess—to preoccupy the mind excessively.

2.       Obsession—compulsive, often anxious preoccupation with a fixed idea or unwanted emotion.

3.       Obsessive—excessive in nature or degree.  ( Webster’s II New College Dictionary)

There are many types of obsession (like with things, places, clothes…..) but the one that I am talking about is obsession with a particular person in or after a relationship.  See, when two people first meet, they hang out and get to know one another.  If things go well, they soon end up being a couple.  At first everything seems so sweet and innocent.  You know, things like calling to make sure you made it to your destination okay or calling to see what you are doing and to make sure you are okay—wanting to spend every minute with you—surprising you by showing up to your house unannounced with flowers or just showing up because he/she missed you…I can go on and on.  You think it’s cute because he/she just loves and cares about you so much, BUT your friends start seeing the whole picture because you are blinded by rose colored glasses…

When these “sweet” little gestures start turning into every day, every minute, or every hour---ummmm there MIGHT be something deeper going on.  When he/she tells you “I’m only happy when I’m with you.” Or “I feel incomplete without you.” Or “I just love you so much that I need to know where you are at, who you are with, and when you are coming home.”---RUN LIKE THE WIND….This person has problems because NO ONE should be the MAIN source of another person’s happiness.  You shouldn’t want someone who is incomplete without you.  I mean, who really wants an incomplete person? Not She, Me, Her (yes, another reference to Tamar Braxton.)….

Calling you ten times a day and then texting you 50 texts, is NOT NORMAL behavior.  Calling your friends or family members because you FINALLY seen the light (or as I call it, the Flashing Red Lights and Red Flags flying) and you won’t answer your phone, is NOT NORMAL behavior….and do I have to mention again the showing up at your house unannounced???

I know that I’m trying to put a little humor into this, but it’s really not funny.  People like this are OBSESSED, and they can turn out to be very dangerous.  They turn into stalkers.  Showing up where you are or phone stalking you constantly.  They confuse being obsessed for being in love.  But, it’s not LOVE at all.  If you break it off with them, they are extremely jealous of whomever you spend your time with.  Every breath they breathe is YOU.  Every thought in their head, is about YOU.  AND THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT THIS IS CONSIDERED TO BE OKAY BEHAVIOR. 

We hear about it all the time, on the news, where the obsessed person turns around and murders the object of his/her fixation because if he/she can’t have that person, no one else will.  And it’s a sad shame that someone has to lose LIFE because someone else is “damaged.”  

So, this brings me back to the word WORTH.  By definition, it means:

1.       having monetary or material value

2.       to the fullest extent of one's value or ability

3.       the value of something measured by its qualities or by the esteem in which it is held heritage of

4.       moral or personal value (Merriam Webster Dictionary Online).

Relationships with obsessive behavior are a recipe for disaster.  And anyone who stays in these types of relationships or finds that they constantly fall for people that exhibit this type of behavior, to me, haven’t realized their WORTH.  Putting up with tacky behavior and riding on an emotional rollercoaster over and over again, is not my ideal of LOVE or being LOVED.  YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT…..I’m not only talking to the females out there; I’m also talking to the males.  If you know you are a QUEEN and you carry your head up high, your KING will find you.  If you know you are a KING and you carry your head up high, your QUEEN will find you.  Stop settling for the Jokester. Because if you don’t love yourself, how the HELL can you know if someone truly LOVES you?  Like I always say, “don’t fall for the okey doke.”  Make sure it’s REAL.  Make sure it’s TRUE AND GENUINE.  And know your WORTH.

Just Saying,

Niesey