Liar, Liar--Pants on Fire!!!

*Inspired by the event(s) that took place (at work) last week…..

You lie

As if it was TRUTH defined

To hide what you did or didn’t do

Using lies as alibis

Even the Devil would be ashamed of you.

You lie

To hide the ugliness within your heart

Using lies as if they were HOLY

How they easily roll off your tongue

Causing confusion and illusions

Tearing people apart.

You lie

Because you can

Fools only question your authenticity

Thinking you are “The Man”

I thought TRUTH was supposed to set you free

Not you

Your lies have become your Prison

And TRUTH has become your Enemy.  (An Angela D Becknell orignal poem)
          

I would be lying if I sat here and said that I never told a lie.  No, I’m not perfect and neither is the rest of the world.  We all have told a lie whether it was to protect someone, hide something from someone, or just because.  After all, we are only human and yes, we all fall down.  It is not my job to judge anyone, and I’m not trying to say that I’m a saint.  I am just relating a story that happened to me last week, and yes, it still bothers me.  It bothers me because I don’t go around making a habit out of lying.  And for someone to just take that away from me, in a blink of an eye, kind of pisses me off (okay, it pisses me off a lot)…..especially when I know I’m telling the TRUTH.

As you can guess, I was called a liar.  I wasn’t called that name directly.  More or less, it was implied.  You know the story—some he said/she said s**t.  BUT in this case, she (meaning me) was not the one telling a lie.  I had no reason to lie.  There was nothing to gain (or lose) by lying.  However, the “powers that be” had something to lose by telling the TRUTH.  So by calling me a liar, they had the false security of thinking that TRUTH would not prevail.  They thought that they could get away with it.   THEY WERE SO WRONG……It just escalated into a big mess, that in the end, went in my favor.

Point is, why tell a lie when the TRUTH will be revealed?  In the end, the one telling the lie looks stupid and ridiculous.  And what does it say about that person when the Top Boss doesn’t even believe the bull?  All I can do is shake my head while holding my head up high.  You didn’t hurt me boo.  After all, you just ended up hurting yourself.  So, keep on walking by and sticking to your lie(s).  And I will continue laughing at you and doing me.  And I will keep standing hand in hand with the TRUTH while you forget what the TRUTH looks like….SMOOCHES!!!!!

Just Saying,

Niesey

You Are My Obsession: A Red Light Warning

I really wanted to start this month off with a “feel good” story, BUT my Mind led me in another direction.  So, for now, that entry will be postponed (sorry my little Booby Bear.)….

The song “A Woman’s Worth,” by Alicia Keyes, kept playing over and over in my head.  I found myself humming the tune at work, in my car, and at home.  I had to ask myself, “Self, what are you trying to tell me?”  For those who would find it hard to believe that I talk to myself, I’m sorry to disappoint you.  Yes, I talk to myself often.  It’s the answers I get that I have to question from time to time….I’m straying from my thoughts, so let me get back on track…..My inner voice was telling me to talk about self-worth.  However, I had to disagree with that voice because I have talked about that in a previous blog.  We finally came to an agreement that led me to what this entry is about…..OBSESSION……

Before I go any further, let’s break down the word obsession:

1.       Obsess—to preoccupy the mind excessively.

2.       Obsession—compulsive, often anxious preoccupation with a fixed idea or unwanted emotion.

3.       Obsessive—excessive in nature or degree.  ( Webster’s II New College Dictionary)

There are many types of obsession (like with things, places, clothes…..) but the one that I am talking about is obsession with a particular person in or after a relationship.  See, when two people first meet, they hang out and get to know one another.  If things go well, they soon end up being a couple.  At first everything seems so sweet and innocent.  You know, things like calling to make sure you made it to your destination okay or calling to see what you are doing and to make sure you are okay—wanting to spend every minute with you—surprising you by showing up to your house unannounced with flowers or just showing up because he/she missed you…I can go on and on.  You think it’s cute because he/she just loves and cares about you so much, BUT your friends start seeing the whole picture because you are blinded by rose colored glasses…

When these “sweet” little gestures start turning into every day, every minute, or every hour---ummmm there MIGHT be something deeper going on.  When he/she tells you “I’m only happy when I’m with you.” Or “I feel incomplete without you.” Or “I just love you so much that I need to know where you are at, who you are with, and when you are coming home.”---RUN LIKE THE WIND….This person has problems because NO ONE should be the MAIN source of another person’s happiness.  You shouldn’t want someone who is incomplete without you.  I mean, who really wants an incomplete person? Not She, Me, Her (yes, another reference to Tamar Braxton.)….

Calling you ten times a day and then texting you 50 texts, is NOT NORMAL behavior.  Calling your friends or family members because you FINALLY seen the light (or as I call it, the Flashing Red Lights and Red Flags flying) and you won’t answer your phone, is NOT NORMAL behavior….and do I have to mention again the showing up at your house unannounced???

I know that I’m trying to put a little humor into this, but it’s really not funny.  People like this are OBSESSED, and they can turn out to be very dangerous.  They turn into stalkers.  Showing up where you are or phone stalking you constantly.  They confuse being obsessed for being in love.  But, it’s not LOVE at all.  If you break it off with them, they are extremely jealous of whomever you spend your time with.  Every breath they breathe is YOU.  Every thought in their head, is about YOU.  AND THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT THIS IS CONSIDERED TO BE OKAY BEHAVIOR. 

We hear about it all the time, on the news, where the obsessed person turns around and murders the object of his/her fixation because if he/she can’t have that person, no one else will.  And it’s a sad shame that someone has to lose LIFE because someone else is “damaged.”  

So, this brings me back to the word WORTH.  By definition, it means:

1.       having monetary or material value

2.       to the fullest extent of one's value or ability

3.       the value of something measured by its qualities or by the esteem in which it is held heritage of

4.       moral or personal value (Merriam Webster Dictionary Online).

Relationships with obsessive behavior are a recipe for disaster.  And anyone who stays in these types of relationships or finds that they constantly fall for people that exhibit this type of behavior, to me, haven’t realized their WORTH.  Putting up with tacky behavior and riding on an emotional rollercoaster over and over again, is not my ideal of LOVE or being LOVED.  YOU ARE WORTH MORE THAN THAT…..I’m not only talking to the females out there; I’m also talking to the males.  If you know you are a QUEEN and you carry your head up high, your KING will find you.  If you know you are a KING and you carry your head up high, your QUEEN will find you.  Stop settling for the Jokester. Because if you don’t love yourself, how the HELL can you know if someone truly LOVES you?  Like I always say, “don’t fall for the okey doke.”  Make sure it’s REAL.  Make sure it’s TRUE AND GENUINE.  And know your WORTH.

Just Saying,

Niesey 

......But The Kid IS NOT My Son

Maury:  You’re sure that he is the father of your child?

Quest:  Yes, Maury.  Look at his eyes and my baby’s eyes.  They have the same eyes Maury.

Maury:  Why do you think he’s denying being the father?

Quest:  Cause of that *itch he’s with and his crack head momma.  They are going around saying that my baby ain’t his and that I cheated on him.

Maury: So, you are absolutely positive that there’s no one else who could be the father?

Quest:  No, Maury.  I’m ten million percent sure that he’s the father.  Unless it’s Immaculate Conception, there’s no one else.

Alleged Baby Daddy:  Man Maury, I don’t know why she’s saying this is my baby.  He doesn’t even look like me.  Hell, I didn’t even sleep with her back then.  We broke up cause she was cheating.  Just put it like this Maury, “you can’t make no hoe into a house wife.”

Maury:  Okay then. Let’s get to the results. In the question of paternity….Brian…YOU ARE NOT the father…..

Quest:  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…. (As she runs off stage like a track star.)

Proven NOT to be the father:  See, I told ya’ll….she’s a hoe….. (And cut to commercial.)

The majority of us, at one point in time, have witnessed this scene over and over again.  Some of us have shaken our heads in utter disgust.  And some of us actually felt sorry for the mom.  SORRY that she made a complete ass of herself, on national television, in front of millions of people.  SORRY for what she put the alleged baby daddy through (along with his family).  And we feel SORRY for the child caught in the middle of this madness.

I write this blog because, me, as a woman cannot understand how any woman (and I use that term loosely here) can do that to her child.  A child she claims she will never hurt intentionally.  Because taking your kid(s) on national T.V. only to have their hopes of having a dad crushed in ten minutes or less---to me—is intentionally hurting them. What kind of message is she sending to her kid(s)?  What kind of example is she setting?  What will she say? …… “Oh, baby, since momma was sleeping around, I don’t know who your daddy is?”  Really????

And what about the ones who had multiple men tested?  Is there ever a point in their minds where they stop denying the truth?  If they don’t know, then just say so.  Denying the truth only makes these women look foolish, look nasty, and makes them look like complete idiots.

I speak so candidly about this because this happened recently to one of my family members.  From the start, he kept telling us that he did not sleep with his ex around the time she conceived.  And instead of petitioning the court for a DNA test, his ex-tried to slap child support on him.  Mind you, someone else signed the birth certificate, and the child was in that man’s last name.  She only started this mess when the child’s “father” found out he wasn’t the father.  I think the child was around four or five back then when all of this came up.  Fast forward to now, I think he’s around ten and she started this mess again.  But you know what’s so wrong about all of it? She was only concerned with “getting paid.”  Yes, those were her exact words…..Well, sorry boo boo.  My family member WAS NOT THE FATHER—ZERO CHANCE—NADA---NO---WRONG GUY.  To make matters worse, he was the fourth guy she had tested.  Let’s count---One. Two. Three.  FOUR.

My heart goes out to her child because of his momma’s stupidity and lack of judgment.  What will he think of women now?  And I bet she doesn’t even realize the damage she has done to her child.  And that’s a shame within itself.

I understand that I might have offended some with this entry.  Honestly, I can care less.  Maybe, whoever needs to be offended.  Now it’s time to grow the hell up and try to do the right thing for the child’s sake……And in the famous words of Tamar Braxton, I leave you with this….”Get your life cause ain’t nobody got time for that!!!!”

Just Saying,

Niesey

I'M BACK

Before I get started on my first blog entry in a year, I would like to sincerely apologize for my absence.  And if my blog has made a difference in just one person’s life, I am truly sorry for leaving you hanging and wanting more.  There are so many thoughts swimming in my head right now, that I don’t know where to start…..However, I will start by saying this “BABY, I’M BACK!!!!”……

A lot of things have happened since my last entry.  I was at a crossroad in my life.  In front of me were three different paths.  One path was for my state of mind.  The middle path was for my marriage.  And the final path was for my impending unemployment (due to a layoff).  Where each path was leading to, I didn’t want to know.  All I knew was things did not look good at all.  And it—Scared. The. Hell. Out. Of. Me…..

Each day felt like I was fighting a losing battle.  And as each day passed by, a piece of my peace of mind was lost.  So, what did I do you ask??? I did what I do best in situations like that—I SHUT DOWN.  Instead of communicating my fears to my spouse, I shut him out.  We were already shutting down the lines of communication between us. So, I thought “why even bother?”—especially when I had already voiced my concerns to him way before sh*t hit the fan.  And at the time when I lost my job, he proved to me that when I needed him the most, he wasn’t there.  There was no “ride or die.”  There was nothing......Let me paint a mental picture for you:  It’s the last game/final quarter in the championship basketball game.  Five seconds remain on the clock, and all the home team needs to win is two points.  The MVP from last season has the ball.  He makes it up court, and as he is about to do a right hand layup to win the game, he decided to  “show boat” for the fans.  And the clock winds down---5-4-3-2-1…BUZZZZZZZZ…OOPS!!!! HE. DROPPED. THE. FREAKING. BALL….and the crowd goes wild booing and throwing things on the court.  And scene…..Yep, that basically sums up what happened and how I felt.  And what’s so sad in it all, he just went on his merry little way like it was nothing……

So here I am today.  I’m still feeling squirrelly.  My marriage is still going to “hell in a hand basket” or whatever that means (I just like saying it).  On the plus side, I found a job that I truly like (even though the Dragon Lady has come in trying to take over—but that’s a different story).  I have met some crazy squirrels that I have made a kinship with, and for that it’s worth getting up at the butt crack of dawn. 

I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I am not going to run and hide from it.  And even though things are still a little shaky right now, I will not toss in the towel and give up on –ME.  You see, through all of this, Niesey has lost sight of herself.  And I am looking forward to finding her again.  And writing this entry is one little step in the right direction…..Now if only my skin will stop acting like I am 15 and remember that I am 39….I’m too old for breakouts..Sheesh….but I digress….

 Just Saying,

Niesey